Both days this weekend seemed impossible. The girls were difficult, but not only are they difficult, they NEED and WANT only MAMMMAAAAA. It is hell to watch both of them have fits/meltdowns and they want nothing to do with their father. Only Mama's touch will help. I find it a very depleting situation. To have my second half with me and yet it is as if he isn't there.
Yesterday I actually shut down, threw in the towel. I just went to my bed around 2pm and told Mats I need to be alone. Normally I would organize, blog, read, but I simply let myself NAP. It was almost as if I passed out from exhaustion. Mats woke me to tell me he was taking Sass to see Wall-E. I managed to say ok, and went back to my nap. It was divine. I had the strangest dreams, but I slept. I slept. I am exhausted again today. Not sure why I am feeling this way more so, than the norm. I had been feeling pretty good. I feel like the exhaustion, along with the tension I feel with our weekend problem is the perfect storm for me, and I shut down. I hate feeling this way. I know that the week will provide structure and hopefully get me out of this funk.
I also have to remember certain things. Mats wanted to go to an aquarium today that is about 2 hours away. However, he did not plan anything. I woke up (i was able to sleep in today 8am thankyouverymuch) of course I get up and get started on trying to plan. I explain I think maybe it is too late in the game. NO, he says. I realize I need to be more flexible, I try to go with the flow. On the way there, he mentions how the website stated that sometimes they get sold out.
SCREEECHHHHEDD. that is in my brain. What ??? What ?? why are we in the car starting to make a 2 hour trek with a 3 1/2 and a 1 1/2 year old, only to be sold out. I explain that I will call, I do. NO persona, but they tape says HIGHLY RECOMMEND buying tix on line before you come. So we switch spots, I drive, he tries to buy tix on his phone via Internet. Finally he can buy tix but they say event 4PM ??? what does that mean. We can only assume it might mean that we can not go in until 4pm. We cut bait, and switch our plans, to the mall that has a build a bear. Yes that is what we will do. I of course have a hard time with all this. My mind is in the how the hell can you do all this with out planning. Mats is all, no big deal, no problem we can just do the mall. He explained that if I can not adjust my mood and get over it than we should go home, he is right. I need to let go. I explained that I can not get over how he would plan on driving 2 hours without a plan. fine. done. go the mall.
The mall worked out, the girls were hard, but we had fun and had something to do. It got a sitter tonight so Mats and I can have a dinner alone, which we REALLY REALLY NEED.
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14 comments:
Are you me? Am I you? I'm not sure but we seem to be living parallel lives. I could have done a cut and paste on your post, inserted different names and locales, and it would have worked for my blog. I hear you. I totally hear you.
Sometimes it's hard to let the "planner" in us go and let someone else take over.
I'm glad the day worked out well for you anyway and that you have a sitter tonight. You guys probably need it!
Um, exactly what Kristin wrote. I'm hearing you, too!
I'm with you on the planning thing... and the not switching gears fast enough part, too, but I'm trying.
Little Miss is totally a momma's girl, but some things I make my husband do regardless of their opinions so that they do let me ummm have some peace.
It's hard though, isn't it? For me, it's almost always easier to just do everything myself because I know what I'm doing, when, in what order, etc... other people mess with my internal planning :)
I'm sorry you had such a hard weekend.
I could have written this post myself, too. Why the hell don't men think? And I have trouble going with the flow, too. I'm trying.
Men and Women are different. It is a strange phenomenom. They honestly, HONESTLY have no clue about the planning that a women will do to take out young children.
Don't try to fight it. Just accept that he has no clue, and move on.
The up side of this is that as your kids grow, the planning becomes SO much easier. SO much easier. I can now take my 3 kids out for the day with just a change of undies and shorts for my daughter and we'll be fine. (Not that I don't still pack huge bags of stuff for some trips, but you get what I'm saying...)
I don't move my team without a plan...no way! I also hate the only Mommy game:P
Funny you should mention Dara T. (Olympic swimmer)stretching routine. She does resistance stretching. Check it out online, I have done a couple classes on it. I think you would love it:)
Yep. You could enter my house and hear this conversation on any given weekend. I need a 200 lb back pack to leave the house with the kids, he just loads them in the car and lets them loose on the world.
I have never really been much of a planner until I became a mom and now I have a hard time loosening up and letting go
oh my god. I could have written this post. My husband and I argue over the same thing. Trips need PLANNING. and he thinks i should go with the flow.
I, too, sometimes find it more stressful on the weekends because there is no routine and the kids get fussy. It's always better if I just disappear for awhile and my husband takes the kids. Then he can do things his way without all my huffing and puffing!
I feel the same way about planning. Sometimes I get so caught up in the "idea" of something that I cannot bring myself out of it. My husband is not a planner at all and it pisses me off all the time. Totally hearing you on this one!
Nice finding you. I totally hear you! I feel the same push pull on the weekends. I am exhausted Monday morning, and live for Friday and the cycle starts all over again....
I'm *so* right there with you. I'm hands-down the favorite with both kids right now and it is exhausting.
And my husband? His idea of helping out when we are going in the car is strapping the kids in the car seats and then honking the horn over and over as I run around the house trying to get sippies and wipes and diapers and toys and everything. Frustrating!
Weekends do tend to feel like this for me too. Luckily Landon LIVES for his father. Now, he would like me to stay put too, but at least he can occupy him and he will not freak out. Weekends are tough without any plans and little ones. We took Landon to the beach early last weekend Hllo 8:45 and he ran on the beach and had the time of his life.
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