You Can Handle Anything If You Want It

I hope you don't mind my posting this here. I stumbled upon your blog on accident and have been following it with interest for a while now. I'm 39 years old and my husband is 45 years old. Life was a bit of a struggle early on and we did not give much thought to having kids. We both now have successful careers, are well settled and financially stable (we are the so-called DINKS). Now, all of a sudden we have started questioning whether we should have at least one kid. Lots of mixed/unsettled feelings. My job is definitely not supportive of a family situation, so basically I would have to give it up (which actually I don't seem to mind too much about right now). Age is definitely a concern (advanced maternal age). Reading some of your posts make we want to go - "Can I handle this???"So confused, any input would be appreciated :-)

The above comment was left on this post.

First off I do absolutely do not mind you commenting on my blog what so ever.

Second, the fact that you are following it with interest is truly amazing to me. I started this blog b/c after having my second child I needed some outlet. Some where to rant about how hard it all was, but also I wanted to connect with other people out there. I truly feel that talking/writing things out is therapy, and finding a support group in any way shape or form is healing. I am honored that any one person feels interest in my blog. So, a big Thank You.

Thirdly, the only person who can answer Can I handle this ? Is you. Please understand that though I vent about how hard it all is. I would not for one millisecond change it at all. I wanted kids, I was blessed to have them. I am blessed to raise them. I love my girls when such a fierce love I never knew existed. I look at them and tell them they will NEVER know how much I love them till they have their own kids. They are the most beautiful, amazing creatures in this world. I am the type of person who needs to talk/vent/complain about hardships, that is how I get through things. It is my way of dealing and it works. Doing it here is helpful for family and friends as they are not bombarded with it. It is hard, the hardest thing I have ever done. In the same breath it is the easiest thing I have ever done, b/c I wanted to do it. I believe that if you want something bad enough you can handle it. If you kind of sort of want something, well then you kind of sort of can handle it. Excuse this lame attempt at an example. If you set your mind to running a marathon b/c you WANT to, I feel you will finish it. It might be hard, you might come in last place but you will do it. You will do it b/c you set the goal and wanted it, so you will take the pain along with the glory. That is how I feel about kids. If you want them, you will find a way to handle it. I have a sitter 3 hours a day for 2 days a week. I feel like a loser b/c I do this, I feel like I should be able to handle 2 kids on my own ALL THE TIME. However, I also realize that I need the sitter to keep myself sane and a good Mother. You have to figure out how you can be the best parent to your kids, and it might not be the way your neighbor, sister, co-worker or friend does it. Do it they way YOU feel is best for you and your family.

I hope this helps in some small way. I wish you only the best in your decision and the peace that will hopefully follow.

PS - I had to link up what DINKS stood for !!! The blog also educates you !!!