tri training wtf ?

So you know I have been training for a sprint tri. I have been working out at least 6 days a week. running, swimming, biking. weights....

today at the beach i saw a friend who i have not seen in a while, we started chatting and we were standing at the water watching the kids. she looked down at my stomach and said, are you pregnant? I laughed and said NO. After that I wanted to cry. I mean seriously how horrible is that. I am working out non stop and yet someone asks if i am pregnant. and how stupid is she - any female on earth knows to NEVER ask that question. 

needless to say i am a bit down. and feeling that all my training is for naught. 

Beach sitting etiquette

Since we live 10 minutes from the beach, we obviously go most days. Actually in my area most folks belong to a beach club, same thing as a pool club, cept you have the beach as well. Now that sassnfrass are finally a bit older and I am a bit saner, we can pretty much go whenever we want. The beach is much more fun for both them and me if they are with friends and can run around playing. Otherwise the look at me to create their fun. Now that Sass is in pre school as well as dance class she has meet a bunch of friends. Some of the friends happen to go to the same club, SCORE !!! instant fun for the girls. The problem is occurring in the sitting question. 

Do I search the kids out and plop myself next to the mom of friend a,b or c? I wind up talking to the moms most of the time b/c we all have to watch the kids at the water. I have seen one mom the past 2 days and sass is also in dance class with the girl, so they run to eachother and hang. I talk with the mom but do i sit with her ? not sure what to do. I would prefer NOT to sit with someone who i have to make small talk with, but then again maybe i need to sit my ass and get to know some of these moms ??? i do have one friend there that i sit with whenever she is there but she is not always there. 

i can recall when i was growing up we went to a pool club and my mom had her posse to sit and hang with, they had their claimed area. 

Feeling like the worst mom

Although it was beautiful and sunny this weekend, and we got to spend time at the beach as a family, yesterday kicked my ass. I almost cried on the beach and just walked away. As many readers know, Sass has SPD and anxiety. There are times where we are good, and the management seems to be fine. And then there are days where she will have a full fledged fit about the tiniest things. The fit will consist of screaming, hitting, shouting the words HATE and STUPID, and she will SPIT. Yesterday while dressing her she was being difficult, I remained calm, the entire time, the full 30 to 4o minutes it took to figure out what she was OK to put on. Later when she had a fit in the pool b/c of googles (don't ask, hubby drags out googles as if she can handle them - that is a whole nother post) i have to remove her from the pool while she has a fit in my arms, i remained calm. The hardest part by the other 5 fits, was that I was remaining calm and she was still acting the same.

This morning within 15 minutes of her being awake she started having a fit as well as threw something and was having a fit b/c her sister did something first. it is FUCKING RIDICULOUS ....SERIOUSLY FUCKING CRAZY ASS. I said some awful things to her this morning that I should not have said. But it is what I feel. I feel she is being a baby and a brat and I don't want to be around her if this is how she is going to act. I am the worse Mom. I know it, I can NOT control my kids and when they have a fit, i am yelling at them horrible things. i brought out a chart to help us and the sight of the chart sends sass into a fit. all she can think about is that she wants stickers on the chart ....MOMMY I WANT STICKERS I CAN'T DO IT...I WANT STICKERS...it is painful to watch. I am starting to dread most every part of the day. getting her dressed.....going to the bathroom......errands...etc. it is hell. While sitting on the beach with 3 other families i could tell that our family was different, we could not sit down. we needed to manage sass, while the other parents chatted about and checked on kids every once in a while, we never sat down. and we still had to leave before everyone. 

currently both kids are crying, lying down on the floor. they won't eat bfast. fuck fuck fuck fuck

want your kid to be a bagelhead ?

NOOOOO

You know you are tired when....

you fall asleep with your glasses on.

I never fall asleep with a TV on or a light, or while reading a book or magazine. For me to sleep I need to be all cleaned up and washed off and you know ...ready for sleep. So this morning when I was woken by my normal alarm clock of Frass screaming Mama, Mama, come and get me. MAMA MAMA, COME GET ME KNOOOWWWWWW.  I couldn't find my glasses that I usually have place on my bed side table. I wear contacts so at night I take them out and read some of my book with glasses on. I couldn't find my glasses anywhere, not even in their place IF i had not worn them to bed. Finally I had to ask hubby, by now I had gotten Frass out of her crib for fear that she would wake up the entire neighborhood. I am unable to see at all without glasses, so it would be very dangerous for me to venture downstairs with Frass. Hubby rolled over and gave me my glasses, he said he found them on the bed next to me while i slept. The thought of me falling asleep with them makes me realize I need a nap, or at least get my ass to bed earlier then 11pm !!!

beach & island living

oh how i love the beach. this is why we live where we do, 10 minutes from the beach. we went late in the day (for us), around 3pm. The girls first hit the pool, then to the ocean, they were in constant action, letting the waves splash them. I can only imagine the awesome sleep they will have, sun, surf and sand. 

I have been thinking about island living. Who lives on an island all season. I am talking bout islands like the vineyard or nantucket, block island ?? what a strange dynamic between the people who live there all year and then the rich folks who just summer there. I am curious beyond belief. 

Peanut Allergy

Today my Frass took a prick test to find out if she is allergic to peanuts. She is. We do bloodwork to follow up and find out the severity but we now know she is allergic to peanuts. I am not sure if I even blogged about her bad reaction she had, she threw up and had hives on her stomach. I called her allergist and she said give her benedryl, which I didn't have, so I had to dress the girls and get them to the market. During that time she continued to cough a scratchy cough. She was clearly uncomfortable. Once I gave her the benedryl, she threw it up a bit, but it worked and the cough stopped and the hives went away and she even said, Mama I feel better. 

The Doc had me get an epipen and said we need to test her in 3 weeks. I just told hubby that we should NOT have peanut butter in the house, I have been eating cashew nut butter and Frass will eat the almond butter, so he is the only one and he gave me a bit of attitude ??? WTF He obviously has not come to terms with it, and it scares me that he almost doesn't believe it ? 

If you have any experience/advice/knowledge/tips about peanut allergies PLEASE comment away !!!